Facebook post from 20th February 2016
Back in August I planned to start #becshandfreejourney with the intention of 'putting down the phone, burning the to do list and letting go of perfection to grasp what really matters', but life got in the way and my book Hands Free Mama slowly descended down the pile of books to read... A couple of weeks ago I picked the book up again and was seriously challenged to 'put down the phone' and had decided to delete FB and other social media off my phone for a week. However, it seems as if God has other plans... My phone is broken and will not start, so I will be sending it off for repair and having a loan phone for a month. I have decided that this phone will be a basic phone (phone calls, texts and whatsapps) with nothing extra... I wanted to put my phone down and reconnect with my husband and children and I have been given the perfect opportunity!Yesterday I felt bereft without my phone; today I have felt freed.#handsfreemama
Background
I am a reader. I love reading books, books of all sorts... But at the moment I am especially interested in parenting books. Not really the 'how to...' manual type of books, but more of the self-improvement 'how to be a better mother' books. Two books which I am reading at the moment are 'A Mom After God's Own Heart' and 'Hands Free Mama', both of which have been immensely challenging. More about a 'A Mom After God's Own Heart' later, but for now I want to mention 'Hands Free Mama'...
In the 4 years since having Zoë I have gone from having a basic phone which can make/take phone calls, send texts and take very basic photos, to an impressive smart phone which can do everything from phone calls to being a Kindle, from taking photos to surfing the web. And, like many other people, I have been sucked into the mentality that I need to be attached to this phone and the world inside it 24/7. But where has this left my husband and my children? I knew I needed to find a balance between simply living for the here and now, and using this amazing God-given technology which enables me to stay in touch with family and friends many miles away. 'Hands Free Mama' was recommended by a friend as a book which looks at finding balance, rather than total avoidance of technology. I have been reading it slowly and prayerfully over the past week or so and keep being rebuked and challenged for the way that I have had the balance wrong. One poem which really hit home is below:
Someone Has Noticed: The Inner Dialogue of A Child
It used to be what you greeted first thing in the morning.
Now you greet me.
You say, “Good morning!” and “How did you sleep?”
Your hands, no longer clinging to the device, are available to hug me, help me pour my cereal, and ruffle my hair.
Thank you for greeting me.
It used to be what you checked before bedtime.
Now you check me.
You make sure the covers are snug, the pages are turned, and the monsters are shooed away.
Your voice and your presence, no longer given to someone on a screen, remains on my skin as I drift off to sleep.
Thank you for checking me.
It used to be what you talked to for hours on end.
Now you talk to me.
You ask me about my dreams, my drawings, my latest jokes, and darkest fears.
With your eyes you listen, really listen, no longer summoned away by beeps and rings.
Thank you for talking to me.
It used to be what you held in your hand as you traveled room to room.
Now you hold me.
You hold me in your gaze, wrap me in your arms, and take my hand in yours.
Your hands are free … often leaving the devices behind … to cover me with love.
Thank you for holding me.
It used to be your favorite dinner companion, travel mate, and entertainer.
Now you seek me.
Your face beams at me through both your laughter and tears as I show you all the things I can do and all the things I know.
You say, “That other stuff can wait until later. Right now I am with you.”
Thank you for seeking me.
I used to think you couldn’t live without your electronic device.
But now I see there is something more important in your life.
It is me.
I am what you can’t imagine life without.
I am what you can’t bear to lose.
I am what holds your attention.
I am what illuminates your world.
You are choosing me.
And each time you do, I notice.
And my heart overflows with joy.
The phone is not so important anymore.
My childhood is not something you are willing to sacrifice.
Thank you for choosing me.
~Rachel Macy Stafford ©
So here is my public pledge as I start to change how I use my time...
The “Hands Free” Pledge
I’m going Hands Free.
I want to make memories, not to-do lists.
I want to feel the squeeze of my children’s arms, not the pressure of over-commitment.
I want to get lost in conversation with my spouse, not consumed by a sea of unimportant emails.
I want to be overwhelmed by sunsets that give me hope, not by extracurricular commitments that steal my joy.
I want the noise of my life to be a mixture of laughter and gratitude, not the intrusive buzz of cell phones and text messages.
I am letting go of distraction, disconnection, and perfection to live a life that simply, so very simply, consists of what really matters.
I’m going Hands Free.
I choose them! #handsfreemama
