#becshandfreejourney

Facebook post from 20th February 2016

Back in August I planned to start ‪#‎becshandfreejourney‬ with the intention of 'putting down the phone, burning the to do list and letting go of perfection to grasp what really matters', but life got in the way and my book Hands Free Mama slowly descended down the pile of books to read... A couple of weeks ago I picked the book up again and was seriously challenged to 'put down the phone' and had decided to delete FB and other social media off my phone for a week. However, it seems as if God has other plans... My phone is broken and will not start, so I will be sending it off for repair and having a loan phone for a month. I have decided that this phone will be a basic phone (phone calls, texts and whatsapps) with nothing extra... I wanted to put my phone down and reconnect with my husband and children and I have been given the perfect opportunity!
Yesterday I felt bereft without my phone; today I have felt freed.‪#‎handsfreemama‬

Background

I am a reader. I love reading books, books of all sorts... But at the moment I am especially interested in parenting books. Not really the 'how to...' manual type of books, but more of the self-improvement 'how to be a better mother' books. Two books which I am reading at the moment are 'A Mom After God's Own Heart' and 'Hands Free Mama', both of which have been immensely challenging. More about a 'A Mom After God's Own Heart' later, but for now I want to mention 'Hands Free Mama'...

In the 4 years since having Zoë I have gone from having a basic phone which can make/take phone calls, send texts and take very basic photos, to an impressive smart phone which can do everything from phone calls to being a Kindle, from taking photos to surfing the web. And, like many other people, I have been sucked into the mentality that I need to be attached to this phone and the world inside it 24/7. But where has this left my husband and my children? I knew I needed to find a balance between simply living for the here and now, and using this amazing God-given technology which enables me to stay in touch with family and friends many miles away. 'Hands Free Mama' was recommended by a friend as a book which looks at finding balance, rather than total avoidance of technology. I have been reading it slowly and prayerfully over the past week or so and keep being rebuked and challenged for the way that I have had the balance wrong. One poem which really hit home is below:

Someone Has Noticed: The Inner Dialogue of A Child

It used to be what you greeted first thing in the morning.
Now you greet me.
You say, “Good morning!” and “How did you sleep?”
Your hands, no longer clinging to the device, are available to hug me, help me pour my cereal, and ruffle my hair.
Thank you for greeting me.

It used to be what you checked before bedtime.
Now you check me.
You make sure the covers are snug, the pages are turned, and the monsters are shooed away.
Your voice and your presence, no longer given to someone on a screen, remains on my skin as I drift off to sleep.
Thank you for checking me.

It used to be what you talked to for hours on end.
Now you talk to me.
You ask me about my dreams, my drawings, my latest jokes, and darkest fears.
With your eyes you listen, really listen, no longer summoned away by beeps and rings.
Thank you for talking to me.

It used to be what you held in your hand as you traveled room to room.
Now you hold me.
You hold me in your gaze, wrap me in your arms, and take my hand in yours.
Your hands are free … often leaving the devices behind … to cover me with love.
Thank you for holding me.

It used to be your favorite dinner companion, travel mate, and entertainer.
Now you seek me.
Your face beams at me through both your laughter and tears as I show you all the things I can do and all the things I know.
You say, “That other stuff can wait until later. Right now I am with you.”
Thank you for seeking me.

I used to think you couldn’t live without your electronic device.
But now I see there is something more important in your life.
It is me.
I am what you can’t imagine life without.
I am what you can’t bear to lose.
I am what holds your attention.
I am what illuminates your world.
You are choosing me.

And each time you do, I notice.
And my heart overflows with joy.
The phone is not so important anymore.
My childhood is not something you are willing to sacrifice.
Thank you for choosing me.

~Rachel Macy Stafford ©

So here is my public pledge as I start to change how I use my time...

The “Hands Free” Pledge

I’m going Hands Free.
I want to make memories, not to-do lists.
I want to feel the squeeze of my children’s arms, not the pressure of over-commitment.
I want to get lost in conversation with my spouse, not consumed by a sea of unimportant emails.
I want to be overwhelmed by sunsets that give me hope, not by extracurricular commitments that steal my joy.
I want the noise of my life to be a mixture of laughter and gratitude, not the intrusive buzz of cell phones and text messages.
I am letting go of distraction, disconnection, and perfection to live a life that simply, so very simply, consists of what really matters.
I’m going Hands Free.

I choose them! #handsfreemama

Summer holidays

For the past three years the words "Summer Holidays" have instilled fear right into my very core... These words signify the end of routine and activities for six or seven whole weeks! Do you know how long that is?? When you have a baby or a toddler life doesn't change for the holidays but you're left with an empty diary as swimming lessons and toddler groups take a break. I have survived (as have Zoë and Caleb), but I've always enjoyed the arrival of September and the restart of a weekly routine.

But this year feels a little different to me... it may be because we're now slowly edging into the world of terms and preschools, or because I'm just more practiced at filling in my empty diary with events, activities and playdates! I am actually looking forward to creating a new six week routine that we can enjoy together...

So, I started by writing a nice pretty colourful list of places to visit and activities to do on an A3 sheet of paper. I've done this for a few seasons now and find it a really helpful way of coming up with ideas. Most of the ideas are very simple and standard but it's nice to have a list to look at when I have the blank moment of 'what shall we do today/tomorrow?' I then asked Zoë what she wanted to do and added them to the list (ideas included 'go on a bus' and 'sleep in a tent'), and finally I asked on a FB group for local ideas of places and events as we've just moved house and I didn't want to miss anything we could walk to... And here is our list:

The second phase in my summer holiday organisation is to have a calendar up so we can pop in date-specific events (such as the kite festival on Dunstable Downs next weekend). I now have two visual reminders of things we can do and when we can do them, and this makes me feel much happier!

I've also been looking through a book I bought recently called Play Through The Bible by Alice Buckley and I'm hoping to do a story a week. This book includes lots of ideas for helping toddlers to remember the Bible story. I'm been thinking that I might be able to combine some of the stories with ideas off our list.

So all in all I'm quite excited about the next six weeks, oh, but first we need to finish the term... Roll on Thursday!!

Jesus is alive!

Easter is a much harder story for preschoolers to understand than Christmas; for one the idea of death rather than birth is sadder, and coming back to life is a hard concept for them to grasp.
I had lots of great ideas for helping Zoë and Caleb to get to grips with this very special part of the Bible story, but as per usual I completely over estimated the amount of time and energy I'd have. Compared to last year I seem to be doing significantly less with Zoë, but I now have a very active 1 year old boy, medication-related fatigue and less time with Zoë as she's at pre-school. But I continue to try as it's important to teach them about God and to have fun together!

Easter Story

I had planned to spend 5 weeks looking at each stage of the story from the last supper to the ascension, but this was too slow as Zoë needed to know the end of the story and couldn't wait. I'd looked at using a book published by The Good Book Company called Play Through The Bible by Alice Buckley; this book contains lots of good ideas for activities to help preschoolers get to grips with the Bible. I'd also looked on-line and other books on my bookcase so had a huge range of ideas to pick from...

One of my favourite activities was the Easter Egg story - I filled 6 eggs with 6 items from the Easter story and then used it to tell (and recap repeatedly) the story. The items were a donkey, bread, grass, stone, nothing and cotton wool. Can you work out the main points?

We had lots of fun over the Easter weekend - here are some of the things we did...

• Visited family and did an Easter egg hunt, made Tomb biscuits and decorated a Simnel cake

• Visited Waddesdon with friends and experienced Colourscape and did another Easter egg hunt

• Visited Ashridge with friends and got Zoë's face painted and did another Easter egg hunt!

• And looked after Wispy the hedgehog who came and played in our garden

 

Mummy Time

I'm still reading through A Mom After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George and am finding it such a helpful and encouraging book. It's not easy reading, but you don't feel got at... A quote I found helpful in the last chapter I read is as follows:

On the one side, you must point them to God's way. And on the other, to enjoy any success in training your child for God and for life, you have to know your child, to know what makes him or her tick... Your children are individuals with special strengths and capabilities that should be developed.

Give us this day our daily bread

Dairy-free scotch eggs and 'cowboy pies'

I've been challenged recently about how providing food for my family is one of the main ways I can fulfil my God-given role of looking after my family. Elizabeth George, in her book A Mom After God's Own Heart, says:

Our goal as moms is to see that those in our family are not deprived of the food, nutrition, health and energy they need to handle daily life, prevent melt-downs and stay happy.

I've always thought that I've done ok, but in reality I know that I can improve in this area! I can learn more about nutrition and what Zoë and Caleb are actually eating. I can improve my meal planning to include snacks and preparation time to ensure that melt-downs are avoided as much as possible.

Enjoying his lunch!

As well as being challenged in what I'm reading, we're also going through some food issues as a family. As many of you know Caleb has been dairy-free since he was a few months old and, whilst we're slowly reintroducing milk, has a fully dairy-free diet which requires planning. Zoë was gluten-free for the first couple of years but more recently has tolerated a low-gluten diet. However recent illnesses suggest that this may no longer be the case. We are currently in a 6 week phase of high gluten consumption before a load of blood tests to see what is occurring... after that it may be that we have to be gluten-free too! And of course I'm allergic to nuts!

Cooking is great fun!

If we're a dairy-free, gluten-free and nut-free family then I need to swat up on nutrition to make sure we're not deprived of the nutrients we need, and I need to be more organised with my meal and snack planning. So, as a way of holding me accountable I thought I'd share some of my ideas here with you...
- chat with friends who are further down the line on the intolerance journey.
- include snack ideas on our meal planner
- plan meals with low preparation times and schedule in preparation in my day
- make/bake more of our own snacks
- research more ideas for df, gf and nf breakfasts and lunches to add variety and different nutrients
- consider a 4 week free course with University of Aberdeen on nutrition

I hope you'll enjoy coming on this journey with me as I explore how I can feed my family for the glory of God!

Everyone

We had a lovely week away on holiday in Bournemouth so took a break from learning a new verse. It was a great opportunity to just recap the ones we'd already learnt as well as talking about God in general life. At the age of 3 Zoë is a little sponge and has an amazing memory, but she's also starting to ask questions and work things out herself rather than just accepting what we're telling her.

Alphabet Verses

Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Acts 2:21

This has been quite a hard verse and we haven't really got it yet. Maybe it's because we haven't found a song to re-emphasise the truth. We'll definitely have to come back to this one in the future.

Over the next few weeks we're taking a break from our alphabet verses to look at the Easter Story - this week we're reading about the Last Supper.

Mummy Time

I've taken a break from A Mom After God's Own Heart to briefly read Aren't They Lovely When They're Asleep by Ann Benton and Whispers Through Time: Communication Through the Ages and Stages of Childhood by L.R.Knost. These are two very interesting books which have some similarities, but also different approaches to parenting. I'm finding it very interesting learning how to read Christian parenting books with a critical eye and comparing everything back to the truths in the Bible.

Other fun

We have a cheeky boy! Caleb is developing his personality and there's a sense of humour coming through. One of his favourite games is to climb onto the little table in the kitchen and 'hide' underneath the worktop. Another game is a to run away when I'm trying to get him dressed!

We had to miss our swimming lesson recently so I took my two energetic children to the local playgym where they had a good run around and used up their energy. Zoë attends gym classes now so was showing me some of her new skills; Caleb was overawed by the fact that he was allowed in the gym and didn't have to stay in the entrance area and play with the vending machines!

Do not fear

I'm going to cover pretty much the whole of February in this blog post, well, the first three weeks at least! The big highlights of February have included:
- More snow

- Caleb's 1st birthday and the zoo

- Weekend visit to family in North Yorkshire

Alphabet Verses

Do not fear for I am with you. Isaiah 41:10

This has been a great verse to learn as Zoë has just decided she's scared of the dark and of the 'monsters' which live there. Whilst acknowledging her fear we've also been able to encourage her that God is always with her.

Mummy Time

I'm continuing to read through A Mom after God's Own Heart. This is such an encouraging and challenging book and every page has something underlined and highlighted! The quote highlighted in the picture has really challenged me as telling Zoë and Caleb about Jesus should be the main and almost only aim of my day - and I know that sometimes I fall short...

Other fun

Zoë's new mug

Zoë's veil - one of my grandparents' tablecloths!

Teaching Caleb how to draw

Learning to peel a carrot

Caleb enjoying the outdoors

Come near to God

I've realised that I haven't blogged about the last two verses that we've been learning with Zoë, so here is our C verse.

Alphabet Verses

Come near to God and he'll come near to you. James 4:8

We've been singing along to a Colin Buchanan song based on this verse which has really helped us to learn it. (CD is called 10, 9, 8 God is great)

Mummy Time

We had a lovely evening with friends recently. I'm suffering tiredness as a side effect of the new heart medication so the menu had to be very carefully planned to ensure that I wasn't worn out before people arrived. Starter was doritos and salsa, main course was jacket potatoes with a selection of toppings (chunky chilli, cheese, beans) and salad, and pudding was apple caramel crumble and chocolate brownie. It was all very yummy and we had lots of fun.

I'm continuing to enjoy reading A Mom After God's Own Heart - it's such a challenging read, but also so encouraging too. My daily Bible readings are going pretty well too as I'm making opportunities to do it rather than waiting for opportunities. It's also encouraging to aim for regular reading rather than daily reading as I'm not beating myself up about it again.

Other fun

A highlight of our week was Zoë's first proper haircut! She sat so still until the hairdresser turned her round to cut her fringe and Zoë launched into telling her all about Aunty Dizzy and Aunty James living in Peru and how Aunty James was stung by a stingray on his foot! The hairdresser didn't quite know what to say in response... :D Zoë loved getting her haircut and is looking forward to the next visit - which may be in a very long time as her hair grows very slowly.

 We've also experienced our first snowfall of the winter! This has made all of us very happy!